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Heather M. McKenzie, Therapist
Online Counseling and Clinical Supervision
(919) 744-8335
I hope that you find the content here helpful! This blog is meant to provide ideas, tips, and insights and is not meant to replace a relationship with a therapist or to serve as medical advice for your specific needs.
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Are you in denial? How to know and what to do about it
Have you caught yourself thinking "This can't be happening" or "This isn't fair" or “If only…”? We all use denial to cope with painful realities. But fighting the truth only creates more suffering. Learn how to use the psychological strategy of Radical Acceptance to untangle yourself from the exhaustion of denial. Try these practical steps to stop fighting a painful reality and help move yourself forward to what can be possible next.
5 days ago8 min read


Why saying no is hard - and how to do it anyway
Sick of saying yes when you really mean no? Learn to start small, build confidence & manage pushback to create more authentic relationships.
Jan 188 min read


Dive deeper: use these self-reflections instead of resolutions
Engage with these 20 self-reflection questions for deeper awareness to know your true self beyond yearly goals & resolutions.
Jan 12, 20247 min read


How to not suck at apologizing
Learn to use the acronym SORRY to apologize in a specific way. Understand what to avoid so your apology repairs the hurt & builds connection
Oct 30, 20238 min read


9 Ways to Make Friends as an Adult
Making adult friends is surprisingly hard. Consider these 9 ways to find & connect with people so you can start building new friendships.
Aug 31, 20239 min read


Assert yourself: How to speak up about your needs
Learn ways to express your wants, needs & preferences without causing to conflict. Try this communication formula and assertive strategies.
May 16, 20239 min read


11 Holiday Permissions to Give Yourself
The closer the holidays draw, the higher the stress and worry. As you navigate holiday dynamics, give yourself these 11 permissions.
Nov 16, 20226 min read


Why it’s hard asking for help and how to get better at it
We need interconnection with others but it can feel so uncomfortable accepting care and help. Let's look at why it's hard and how to do it.
Feb 24, 20228 min read


Like yourself more: the power of self-validation
Validation is a human craving. We all want to matter. Since external validation isn't guaranteed, learning to self-validate is essential.
Oct 23, 20217 min read


How does my attachment style impact my relationships?
Our attachment styles will show up with every human interaction. Learn how your tendency towards Secure or Insecure attachment impacts you.
Jul 29, 20217 min read


What is my attachment style?
Attachment Style refers to the way we perceive and connect with others. It’s at the root of all our interactions with people.
Jul 29, 20217 min read


Quick strategy for managing intense emotions - the STOP skill
Emotions dictate where our attention goes. The more intense an emotion gets, the more it narrows our focus. Use the STOP skill for control.
Jun 22, 20214 min read


What does Borderline Personality Disorder look like?
The BPD criteria are explained in terms to help you better assess if this is something that applies to you or someone you care about.
May 21, 20219 min read


What makes a person trustable? 11 traits to look for.
Trust is one of the scariest gifts we can give someone and trust is crucial for healthy connections. 11 qualities to determine trustability.
Feb 23, 20217 min read


Is my relationship healthy?
Take a few moments to reflect on these crucial elements that may be healthy (or not) in your connections with other people.
Oct 20, 20205 min read


How a quarantine can impact your relationships and interactions (and what to do about it)
If you live with other people, you will be dealing with some unprecedented experiences in your environment over the next weeks and months.
Mar 31, 202011 min read


Questions to ask before getting married or making a commitment (please!)
If you're thinking about making a long-term commitment, please save yourselves some heartache and dive into these questions. Please!
Jan 21, 20204 min read


What does it mean to “need better boundaries?” (and how to do it)
If you're wondering if you need some different boundaries, do a quick assessment for any feelings of resentment towards others.
Aug 13, 20198 min read


Validation: the secret superpower for improving your communication and relationships
Validation is a communication tool that lets another person know “I hear you.” When used correctly, it can completely shift the dynamic.
Jun 18, 20195 min read


What is my Love Language (and why does it matter?)
We each prefer to give and receive love in different ways. Learn more about your preferences so that your needs in relationships can be met.
Feb 12, 20195 min read
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