Assert yourself: How to speak up about your needs
Learn ways to express your wants, needs & preferences without causing to conflict. Try this communication formula and assertive strategies.
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Heather M. McKenzie, Therapist
(919) 744-8335
Online Counseling and Clinical Supervision
I hope that you find the content here helpful! This blog is meant to provide ideas, tips, and insights and is not meant to replace a relationship with a therapist or to serve as medical advice for your specific needs.
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- Nov 16, 2022
- 6 min
11 Holiday Permissions to Give Yourself
The closer the holidays draw, the higher the stress and worry. As you navigate holiday dynamics, give yourself these 11 permissions.
- Feb 24, 2022
- 8 min
Why it’s hard asking for help and how to get better at it
We need interconnection with others but it can feel so uncomfortable accepting care and help. Let's look at why it's hard and how to do it.
- Oct 23, 2021
- 7 min
Like yourself more: the power of self-validation
Validation is a human craving. We all want to matter. Since external validation isn't guaranteed, learning to self-validate is essential.
- Aug 27, 2021
- 7 min
How to get started with mindfulness
Mindfulness is an effort to have intentional awareness of what is going on inside of you at the present moment. But how do we do this?
- Jul 29, 2021
- 7 min
What is my attachment style?
Attachment Style refers to the way we perceive and connect with others. It’s at the root of all our interactions with people.
- Jun 22, 2021
- 4 min
Quick strategy for managing intense emotions - the STOP skill
Emotions dictate where our attention goes. The more intense an emotion gets, the more it narrows our focus. Use the STOP skill for control.
- May 21, 2021
- 9 min
What does Borderline Personality Disorder look like?
The BPD criteria are explained in terms to help you better assess if this is something that applies to you or someone you care about.
- Feb 23, 2021
- 7 min
What makes a person trustable? 11 traits to look for.
Trust is one of the scariest gifts we can give someone and trust is crucial for healthy connections. 11 qualities to determine trustability.
- Oct 20, 2020
- 4 min
Is my relationship healthy?
Take a few moments to reflect on these crucial elements that may be healthy (or not) in your connections with other people.
- Mar 31, 2020
- 11 min
How a quarantine can impact your relationships and interactions (and what to do about it)
If you live with other people, you will be dealing with some unprecedented experiences in your environment over the next weeks and months.
- Jan 21, 2020
- 4 min
Questions to ask before getting married or making a commitment (please!)
If you're thinking about making a long-term commitment, please save yourselves some heartache and dive into these questions. Please!
- Aug 13, 2019
- 8 min
What does it mean to “need better boundaries?” (and how to do it)
If you're wondering if you need some different boundaries, do a quick assessment for any feelings of resentment towards others.
- Jun 18, 2019
- 5 min
Validation: the secret superpower for improving your communication and relationships
Validation is a communication tool that lets another person know “I hear you.” When used correctly, it can completely shift the dynamic.
- Feb 12, 2019
- 5 min
What is my Love Language (and why does it matter?)
We each prefer to give and receive love in different ways. Learn more about your preferences so that your needs in relationships can be met.
- Jan 22, 2019
- 7 min
How to make hard decisions (the Six Thinking Hats model)
Decision-making is hard, especially if there's possible risk or negative consequences. The Six Thinking Hats is a pragmatic tool to help you
- Nov 13, 2018
- 12 min
Does Your Relationship Need Help? Here's an app to help you.
One relationship app that I recommend frequently for strengthening & improving relationships is the Gottman Card Deck.
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