Because emotions are crucial to our success and survival, it’s also pretty important that we are able to identify exactly what we are feeling. Our bodies do a pretty stellar job giving us clues about our emotional state if we can learn to look for them.
Sometimes it’s obvious: a car cuts us off in traffic and we immediately know that we are pissed off. But sometimes it’s a little less clear: we feel a little queasy inside about the idea of talking to our former co-worker but we’re not too sure why.
The first clue is to check in with your physical sensations. Below are 10 primary human emotions and the physical body sensations that come with them. Also listed are the typical action urges we have when feeling these 10 emotions. If tuning into your body signals doesn’t quite give you enough information, usually identifying your action urge will give you clarity.
You will notice that there is some overlap with the physical sensations. Our bodies can react similarly with different emotional experiences. So once you have identified what is going on physically and what your action urges are, you can then ask yourself:
What is the threat I’m perceiving?
What do I need?
These two questions can help you further identify the specific emotion that is likely bubbling inside you and then how to work with it. See this additional post for an understanding of why we even have emotions in the first place.
The 10 emotions:
Anger
...also known as annoyance, bitterness, frustration, indignation, aggravation, irritation, grumpiness, outrage, hostility, rage
Anger is felt in response to:
important goals or activities you care about being interrupted or prevented
the perception of an imminent attack on you or people you care about
a threat to your integrity or social status
Physical sensations and changes from Anger
Muscles tightening in shoulders, arms, chest
Teeth clamping together
Jaw tightening
Face flushing or getting hot
Feeling chest pressure like you are going to explode
Being unable to stop tears
Urges and actions with Anger
Wanting to hit something, bang the wall, throw something, blow up
Wanting to hit or hurt a person or animal
Clenching your hands or fists
Frowning, not smiling, mean expression
Sneering, grinning
See this additional post for specific coping strategies for anger.
Disgust
...also known as aversion, dislike, repugnance, resentment, scorn, condescension, hate, spite, contempt, disdain, disapproval, repulsion
Disgust is felt in response to…
items that are offensive or could poison/contaminate you
people that you deeply dislike who are touching, being close, or talking to you or to other people you care about
a person or group whose behavior or thinking could create serious damage or harm to you or the community you are part of
Physical sensations and changes with Disgust
Feeling nauseous or sick in the stomach
Lump in your throat
Feeling unable to drink or eat
Vomiting, gagging, choking
Skin crawling or feeling contaminated, dirty, unclean
Fainting
Closing your eyes, looking away
Clenching your hands or fists
Frowning or not smiling
Nose and top lip tightened up
Brain feeling mentally polluted
Urges and actions of Disgust
Urge to vomit or spit
Intense urge to destroy or get rid of something
Urge to take a shower or wash hands/face
Urge to run away or push away from something
Physically attacking the cause of your disgust
Using obscenities or cursing
Wanting to silence or push another person/group out
Speaking with a sarcastic voice tone
unpleasant facial expression; smirking
Fear
...also known as anxiety, dread, horror, nervousness, shock, uneasiness, overwhelm, panic, worry, apprehension, terror
Fear is felt in response to…
perceived threats to our life or the life of those we care about
threats to our physical health, well-being or comfort or that of people we care about
threats to our success or status or acceptance by others
Physical sensations and changes of Fear
Difficulty breathing; chest feeling tight
Shallow breath or breathlessness
Increased pulse or fast heartbeat
Tightness or lump in throat
Choking sensation
Dry mouth
Tight or cramped muscles
Clenched jaw or teeth
Foggy brain
Feeling nauseous or sick in the stomach
Diarrhea, vomiting
Feeling “butterflies” in your stomach
Chills or cold skin
Shaking, quivering, or trembling
Feeling your hairs prickling or standing up
Flushed skin, feeling clammy
Sweating or perspiring.
Shaky or trembling voice
Urges and actions of Fear
Wanting to run away or avoid things
Actually fleeing or running away
Walking hurriedly; furtive physical moves
Hiding from what you are fearing
Talking yourself out of doing what you fear
Engaging in nervous, anxious talk
Pleading or crying for help; whimpering
Screaming or yelling
Talking less or being unable to talk
Darting eyes or quickly looking around
Blank or frozen stare
Freezing, or trying not to move
Urge to yell or call out
See this additional post for specific coping strategies for fear/anxiety
Sadness
...also known as disappointment, pity, disconnection, depression, despair, hurt, homesickness, anguish, displeasure, suffering, grief, dismay, dejection, misery, alienation, sorrow, agony, rejection, defeat, loneliness, unhappiness
Sadness is felt in response to…
the loss of someone or something important
things not being the way you want/hope/expect them to be
unattained goals or things we want but can not have
Physical sensations and changes from Sadness
Feeling tired, run down, or low in energy
Feeling lethargic and physically weak
Being listless; wanting to stay in bed all day
Feeling as if nothing is pleasurable anymore
Pain or hollowness in your chest or gut.
Feeling as if you can’t stop crying, or if you ever start crying you will never be able to stop
Thickness behind your eyes
Difficulty swallowing; loss of appetite
Breathlessness
Dizziness or faintness
Foggy brain
Lump in throat
Eyes drooping
Frowning, not smiling
Face drawn down
Slumped shoulders or posture
Urges and actions of Sadness
Avoiding things
Withdrawing from social contact
Acting helpless; staying in bed; being inactive
Brooding, moping, or being moody with others
Moving slowly
Avoiding activities that used to bring pleasure
Giving up and no longer making effort
Saying sad things
Talking little or not at all
Using a quiet, slow, or monotonous voice
Sobbing, crying, whimpering
Guilt
...also known as culpability, remorseful, apologetic, regretful, sorry
Guilt is felt in response to…
specific actions we took or didn’t take that led to a violation of our values or moral code
something we did/said that negatively impacted someone we care about
a lack of action that negatively impacted ourselves or others
Physical sensations and changes from Guilt
Flushed, red face
Hot skin, sweating
Jitteriness, nervousness
Difficulty breathing, sensation of suffocating
Pit in stomach
Lump in throat
Avoiding eye contact
Urges and actions of Guilt
Wanting to avoid the person or situation that is causing the guilt
Trying to repair the harm, make amends for the wrongdoing, fix the damage, change the outcome
Asking for forgiveness, apologizing, confessing
Giving gifts/making sacrifices to try to make up for the transgression.
Looking down; bowing your head
Shame
...also known as embarrassment, mortification, shyness, humiliation, self-consciousness, culpability
Shame is felt in response to…
something about us that could lead to a rejection from our community
something about us that could lead to a loss of connection
personal characteristics or behaviors that are "dishonoring" or "prohibited" in our family or social group
Physical sensations and changes with Shame
Pain in the pit of the stomach
Nausea or upset stomach
Sense of dread
Chills or flushed skin
Tightness in throat and chest
Dry mouth; choked speech
Curling in; wanting to shrink down or disappear.
Wanting to hide or cover your face and body
Feeling frozen or paralyzed
Urges and actions of Shame
Bowing your head, groveling
Withdrawing; covering your face
Hiding your behavior from others
Hiding a characteristic about you from others
Avoiding the person you have harmed
Avoiding people who do or might criticize you
Avoiding yourself—distracting away and ignoring thinking about yourself
Appeasing; saying you are sorry over and over and over
Looking down and away from others
Sinking back; slumped and rigid posture
Halting speech; lowered volume while talking
Jealousy
...also known as fear of losing, wariness, clutching, cautious, defensive, suspicious, watchful, clinging, mistrustful, self-protective
Jealousy is felt in response to…
perceiving someone as a threat to our relationships or to things that are very important to us
feeling uncertain about the quality or security of the bond in a relationship
an important status situation (like a job) seems in danger of being damaged or lost
having something that you are afraid to lose.
Physical sensations and changes with Jealousy
Choking sensation, lump in throat
Tight shoulders; muscles tensing
Difficulty breathing; shallow breath
Increased pulse; fast heartbeat
Jaw or teeth clenching
Mind spinning; unable to have clarity
Wide eyes or darting eyes
Decreased blinking
Urges and actions of Jealousy
Wanting to keep hold of what you have
Wanting to push away or eliminate your rival
Becoming suspicious of others
Violent behavior or threats of violence
Attempting to control the person you are afraid of losing
Verbal accusations of disloyalty or unfaithfulness
Interrogating the person; demanding accounting of time or activities.
Spying behaviors
Collecting evidence of wrongdoings
Clinging; enhanced dependency
Increased or excessive demonstrations of love
Envy
...also known as craving, displeasure, greed, bitterness, discontentment, resentment, longing, wishfulness, down-hearted
Envy is felt in response to…
other people getting or having things we do not have but we want or need
the perception that others are happier, more comfortable, more loved, or better off in some way than we are
wanting something that others have
Physical sensations and changes from Envy
Muscles tightening
Tightness in chest
Teeth clamping together, jaw tightening
Feeling your face flush or get hot
Feeling heat in your chest area
Feeling rigidity in your body
Pain in the pit of the stomach
Sense of dread or something looming
Urges and actions of Envy
Having an urge to hurt the people you envy
Wanting the person/people you envy to lose what they have, to have bad luck, or to be hurt
Doing something to make the other person fail or lose what they have
Feeling pleasure when others experience failure or lose what they have
Feeling unhappy if another person experiences some good luck
Taking away or ruining what the other person has
Attacking or criticizing the other person
Saying mean things about the other person or making the person look bad to others
Trying to show the other person up, to look better than the other person
Avoiding people who have what you want
Feeling motivated to improve yourself or your situation
Taking action to get what the other person has
Love
...also known as attraction, enchantment, sympathy, adoration, caring, liking, fondness, longing, tenderness, affection, infatuation, lust, compassion, kindness, desire, sentimentality
Love is felt in response to…
being with someone or something that significantly enhances our quality of life
being with someone or something that increases our chance of attaining personal goals and overall wellness
being with others who increase our chances of survival
the biological drive for the survival of our lineage through reproduction
Physical sensations and changes with Love
Feeling energetic; alert
Quickened pulse; fast heartbeat
Feeling excited
Butterflies in stomach
Warmth inside your core
Sense of fullness in your core
Feeling relaxed and calm
Mind feels clear and uncluttered
Calm, smiling face
Relaxed, bright eyes
Urges and actions of Love
Wanting to give things to a person
Wanting to see and spend time with a person
Wanting physical closeness or sex
Wanting emotional understanding and closeness
Expressing positive feelings to a person
Eye contact, mutual gaze
Touching, petting, hugging, holding, cuddling
Sharing time and experiences with someone
Doing things that the other person wants or needs
Happiness
...also known as satisfaction, exhilaration, joy, triumph, optimism, gladness, enjoyment, enthusiasm, contentment, pride, relief, excitement, eagerness, amusement, cheerfulness, pleasure, hope, delight
Happiness is felt in response to…
people, experiences, or things that help us feel comfortable
people, experiences, or things that help us feel a lack of distress
people, experiences and things that lead to our optimal functioning
situations that we predict will lead to successful outcomes for ourselves and others we care about
Physical sensations and changes with Happiness
Physically energetic, active
Giggling or laughing
Having a bright, glowing face
Chest skin flushing; overall warm skin
Calmness throughout the body
Feeling open or expansive in the body
Urges and actions of Happiness
Urge to keep doing what is associated with the happy feeling
Smiling broadly
Being bouncy, bubbly, or silly
Communicating your good feelings
Saying positive things; giving compliments
Using an enthusiastic or excited voice
Being talkative or talking a lot
Hugging people
Jumping up and down
Feelings Wheel
Some folks really like the Feelings Wheel visual. It uses different emotion words than I have outlined in this article but the idea is getting in the habit of honing in on your specific emotional experience. As psychiatry professor Dr. Dan Siegel coined, once we name it, we can then tame it.
There are several versions of this wheel; the above is created by Geoffrey Roberts.
Okay, what's next?
You now have an idea of the physical sensations that can indicate what you are feeling. But most of us are not accustomed to paying attention to our physical body sensations. Awareness of self is a foundational skill to understanding and managing our emotions. Mindfulness strategies & skills offer a clear path to having this increased self-awareness.
Once you get into a routine of scanning your body for signals, you’ll have a more robust awareness of your emotions. From there you can ask yourself those 2 key questions mentioned above:
What is the threat I’m perceiving?
What do I need?
These two questions can give you the insight you need to best manage your emotions in a way that works. Your next step is to practice paying attention to your sensations and urges more and more regularly!
If you experience intense emotions and want to better understand yourself and learn new ways to manage emotions, check out my 8-week online course to see if it's a fit for your needs.